Question: My 2 year old—who’s been sweet and sociable until now—is starting to do things she knows we don’t want her to do, like throwing food at the table and hitting other people. I’ve heard different things about toddlers timeouts. Some experts and parents say they’re the best way to respond to bad behaviour, others say toddlers timeouts just make things worse. Are toddlers timeouts a good idea?

Answer: Most parents of today realize that physical punishments like spanking are too harsh for little kids. Many parents are also aware that emotional punishments like shaming or shouting have unfortunate unintended consequences.

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Question: My son Damian just turned two. He’s always been a good-natured and sociable child, but recently he’s started hitting, especially my husband and me. He usually does it when he’s tired or hungry. We don’t want to break his spirit or punish him so harshly it leads to more defiance. What can we do?

Answer: Toddler aggression is totally normal. Yes, it is something you have to deal with—you don’t want Damian hitting other kids or continuing to hit you. However, he isn’t doing anything unusual or worrisome, and it doesn’t reflect badly on your parenting. At this age, he’s just beginning to learn about impulse control. He’s in the very early stages of learning to manage his emotions and control his behaviour. These are important skills for adults, but it will take him years to acquire them fully. 

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Question: There are some expensive toys I want to buy that I’ve heard help in building a baby’s intelligence. My mother tells me not to waste my money. She says the best thing I can do if I want my daughter to be as intelligent as possible is to play with her and talk to her. That can’t be true, can it?

Answer: Your mom is absolutely right. Save your money. The best possible brain-building activities for babies and young children are simple, happy, easy moments spent with someone who loves them. There are only a few basics to keep in mind for building a baby’s intelligence, and none of them have to cost very much.

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If you’ve just had a baby, then congratulations!  Needless to say, this will be the most enjoyable experience of your life.   One of the most enjoyable experiences of those first few weeks is having your first photos taken with the wonderful new addition to your life.

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School started this week for thousands of students. I work in a school and love the excitement of the first day. There are faces filled with excitement, uncertainty, anxiety and anticipation. One parent recently asked me, “How can I build my child’s confidence?”

My answer? You can build your child’s confidence by following one principle:

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I live in a community where kids enroll in sports as soon as they are potty trained.  Parents who are not hazed into sports after diapers are frowned upon.   If a parent cracks under the pressure (yes I succumbed…) to enroll their young child, one sport per season is not enough.  Yes apparently by enrolling our child in multiple sports at once, we are allowing them to choose their professional sporting career by age 6.  Following the trend while we were still too naïve to know what awaited us, we started playing soccer at age 4.

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My sons are coming home from a youth convention. They go every two years with our youth group. I’m anxious to hear what they’ve learned, how they’ve been challenged, and to how they’ve been inspired.  Then the real work starts – instilling values they’ve learned at the conference into their daily lives.

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The terrible twos: we’ve all heard of this stage in a child’s development. It’s the period of time that most parents fear and are, at times, unprepared for. However, the toddler years are not the only time that children display tantrum behavior. And, you thought you were in the clear once you passed 3 years old!

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Question: My 18-month-old is showing no signs of talking. Not ‘Mama,’ not anything. Christopher has always been impatient, but over the past few months, his temper has been getting worse. He has major temper tantrums, total meltdowns—screaming, kicking, enraged—several times a day. Based on these early signs of autism, should we be worried?

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Question: I need some advice on weaning a toddler. I weaned Connor just after his second birthday. Although he LOVED to nurse, he didn’t seem to miss it at first. But about two months later, he became very interested again, often shoving his hands down my shirt. I tell him that the milk is all gone, and he does understand that, but he still wants it. He finds it soothing. Do you have any suggestions? With #2 on the way, I’m not interested in him nursing again.

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I can’t. It’s too hard. Nobody likes me. I need you to do it because I’ll do it wrong. I’d really like a pencil like that but I’ll never be able to have one. I can’t do anything right. I have a stomachache, that’s why I didn’t clean my room. My teacher’s dumb, that’s why I got a C. It’s not fair; you don’t love me.  Whine, mope, and complain.

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My son is seven years old. In seven year he has accumulated a lot of toys. Naturally, there are many that he has grown out of, and surprisingly there a few that he hasn’t. For example, my sister bought him a Brio starter train set for his first birthday and over the years it has expanded so much that he has a giant toy box dedicated to it.

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Question:

My 21-month old gets upset if I leave the room even for a minute. I’m having trouble getting ready for work in the morning, because Ethan panics if I’m not in direct contact with him, even if my husband is there with him. Otherwise, he’s an active and curious little boy who enjoys playing with other kids, and loves learning of all kinds. He sleeps well, has a good appetite, and seems happy to see his nanny and the other child the nanny takes care of. However, I’m starting to worry he has a fear of abandonment because of me going to work every day. 

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Question: My son, Logan, will be 5 in July. He’s recently developed a habit of chewing fingers and sucking them. He never had a dummy (pacifier), so I’m concerned it could be a sign of anxiety. Our home life is pretty free from stress, and I’ve tried teaching him breathing techniques and kiddy yoga. When he’s playing with us or his grandparents, or his 2-year-old brother Alex, the fingers don’t go near his mouth. I see him chewing fingers more when he’s watching TV or tired. Are these normal signs of anxiety in a pre-schooler?

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If you are expecting your first baby, you are probably getting advice—a LOT of advice—from friends, family, and even complete strangers.  As the mother of three children and a writer of parenting articles for magazines and blogs, I too, have a few words of advice for new parents.  Here are the my Top Ten things all new parents should do:

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