Types of Parenting: Confident Parenting

Mercedes Samudio, LCSW by Mercedes Samudio, LCSW

confident parenting

In the 2-part series entitled, Types of Parenting, we’ll be discussing the different types of parenting that some parents use to raise their children.

The four types that we will cover are: Vindictive Parenting and Confident Parenting. This week we’ll discuss Confident Parenting.

After discussing Vindictive Parenting last week, I thought it’d be nice to give parents a break.

Not all parents are aimed at letting their frustration get the best of them.

Some parents are good at being confident in their parenting; they’re good at reducing the stress of the situation and providing positive discipline.

Confident Parenting is when a parent can mange their stress as well as decrease their child’s stress in a situation. These parents have an easier time using positive discipline to encourage change in their child’s behavior as well as feel less guilty after working with their child’s behavior.

Are you feeling like this is complete hogwash? Thinking, “There’s no such thing as this type of parent?” Or, you might even be thinking that you do that sometimes!

The thing to remember as we go through the Types of Parenting series is this: All parents display traits of the each type of parenting from time to time. The most important piece is that as a human being, parents fluctuate between what they are good at managing and situations that they have a difficult time managing! So, don’t beat yourself up if you felt more relation to the Vindictive Parenting than you do for the Confident Parenting.

One important part of Confident Parenting is managing of your emotions and thoughts as you are dealing with your child’s behavior. When you are displaying Confident Parenting, you are doing one or all of the following:

  • Listening to your child – Instead of telling your child what they are feeling or what is going on, you allow your child space to tell you what is going on with them
  • Using knowledge of your child – You use knowledge of your child’s baseline behaviors and their personality traits to help them work through issues or behaviors instead of letting the current behavior determine how you treat your child
  • Redirecting your child – Taking time to redirect your child with other activities or helping them manage their stress with relaxation techniques allows you to work through a situation without rushing to conclusions
  • Providing choices – When a child is displaying an unwanted behavior you provide them with choices [mostly two!] to help them build positive decision making skills and to help them understand accountability. 

In Confident Parenting, parents realize that the behaviors a child displays are a means to develop skills as opposed to taking the behaviors personally.

 The confidence stems from knowing that you and our child have a positive relationship and a child’s behaviors are do not often change the nature of that relationship!

I’ll be honest with you, this type of parenting is the most difficult to display because it means that the parent has to manage their feelings and thoughts before working with their child.

However, I feel that parents have the strength to utilize this type of parenting by trying out the strategies listed above!

Effective and mindful parenting >>

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