Parenting teens: Unraveling?

I will admit…. I was unraveling. I have an unemployed, not going to school this semester, 18 year old who is sleeping all day and staying up all night on the computer. I have another child who is being homebound schooled until we can figure out a good combination of medication. She is suffering through anxiety and panic attacks, and they have become debilitating. And three that are in a prep school that we need to get up early every morning to get to the bus stop, up at 4:30 and off to the bus at 5:45. I was unraveling. No I am unraveling, right along the seams. I am tired, not just physically but emotionally.

My, just graduated, not going to school, unemployed, sleeping all day, not helping around the house child has searched and searched for a job. And although I would say that when I was a kid, looking for a job was character building, it is no longer that way.98% of all job applications are done online. There is no face to face, no character building experiences, no dealing with people. How do companies know that this may be someone that they want to interview?  Her frustration level is high. Her self worth is dwindling and I am unraveling. My husband and I believe with all our hearts that our children are our children forever. They are welcome in our house until they have a home of their own, and if that is lost they are welcome back into the fold. BUT help around the house would be MUCH appreciated. Keeping ones room clean, tossing a load of laundry in, starting dinner, running the vacuum. It really is the little things that mean so much, I am not getting that-unraveling.

My second oldest is suffering-therefore I am suffering. She has extremely low self esteem, She suffers from Anxiety attacks. She suffers from social anxiety. She experiences panic attacks that are debilitating. We are working with a counselor and a http://ippp.org/ psychiatrist. Leaning on Rx for right now until we can get her balanced and working with the counselor to show her the way to a prescription free existance, self coping mechanisms that will assist her in becoming the wonderful, amazing young woman that everyone else already knows she is. It is hard as a parent to see your child suffer from something that you have no control over. The chemicals in her brain are reacting to a fight or flight moment(s) when in reality, for most of us, it is just a every day encounter. I am unraveling.

An article that has some sound advice is written by: James Lehman, MSW

http://www.empoweringparents.com/Rules-Boundaries-and-Older-Children.php

and http://www.empoweringparents.com/responsible-adult.php by Elisabeth Wilkins

Our three younger children are in middle and elementary school and they are going to a very young school, this being their second year of educating, in a town about 35 minutes away. Since it is new it comes with all the hiccups of a new…. anything. The school had 260 some odd students last year and are working with almost quadrupling their enrollment this year. They have a little over 900 students and they added a grade level. They now teach K-9, where last year they only taught through 8th grade. The need and desire for a new and different way to educate our children was obviously desired in the area. My only complaint, and this is by no means the school’s issue, is the early hour in the morning and the late hour off the bus. They get on the bus at 6:15ish and arrive back at the bus stop around 4:30pm. A long day. But my children really haven’t complained too much about time and lack of sleep. They sleep in the car on the way to the bus stop, a 20 minute drive, and they do most of their home learning (we called it homework back in the dark ages) on the bus. So not so much unraveling.

My son, a sixth grader, has “organizational issues”. He is an extremely bright kid but can’t seem to record homework, meetings, activities, meetings, etc. And therefor he doesn’t get done what he is supposed to, when he is supposed to. How far do I go to help him get organized? Do I follow him to each and every class and remind him to write this down and write that down? Of course not. But my suggestion of having the teachers sign off on his agenda book and recordings of his homework….. would encourage him to write it down so that his teachers don’t get mad at him.

Nancy Darling wrote an article about Middle Schooler’s and their organizational skills – or lack there of……

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/thinking-about-kids/201201/keep-your-middle-schooler-organized

http://everydaylife.globalpost.com/teaching-teens-importance-organizational-skills-8115.html

I guess may be the better way to look at things would be to look at the NOT unraveling parts and focus my energy there…. may be that way I can better deal with all the things that are going on with my teenagers.