I wish someone could have advised me,
before I had teenagers,
some of what I have had to learn myself.
Maybe you are knew to parenting teens,
or are struggling with moods and attitude,
If so I hope this post will help.

 

How we think we will mother our children before we have them,

differs greatly from the mothering we do when they arrive.
Before they were born we had great plans,
such as a natural birth,
breast feeding and never letting them cry.
We went into labour and delivered and our reality changed us!

The very same is true for parenting teenagers.
When our children are young,
we know with certainty our teenagers will have manners.
They will not be allowed to ‘hang out’.
A strict curfew will be in place for night time.
Our daughters will dress respectfully.
Alcohol will be a no go area.
As will cigarettes

As a parent who has three teenagers,
I have learned that life is not always as simple as we would wish.
This is what I believe are my biggest lessons learned to date.
Notice I say ‘to date’,
because I am still learning!

1. Teenagers are no longer children..They badly want you to know that.
2. Teenagers are not yet adults….. You need them to know that!

3. A teenagers job is to push the boundaries,
4. Your job is to hold firm.

5. A teenager is willing to argue about the smallest of issues, at length.
6. You need to pick your battles carefully and ignore the rest.

7. A teenager is often lost and confused.
8. You need to be there to support them.

9. A teenagers world is ever evolving, often challenging.
10. You are their constant.

11. A teenager often rejects physical contact, hugs and kisses.
12. A teenager misses this contact. You need to connect in new ways.

13. A teenager rejects and rebels.
13. Not everything they reject or rebel about matters.

15. Your teenager is approaching adulthood. They want to be seen as an individual with their own ideas.
16. You need to step back a bit, watch them grow, and let them fly.. but always be there to pick them up again!

I have no doubt that parenting teenagers can be so very difficult.
A friend of mine recently said, when her teenager got into a lot of legal trouble,
“I did not sign up for this!”.
We all did, we just didn’t read the small print!!
Some of us will have an easier journey than others,
but along the way we will all struggle at times.

However, we need to remember,
Our teenagers will grow up,
and it is up to us as parents to help them through,
what for many is the most difficult time in their lives.

photo credit: Krissy.Venosdale via photopin cc
photo credit: cygnus921 via photopin cc