Dona Matthews, Author at The Parents Space

Dona Matthews

The Joys of Unstructured Time for Free Play vs. Structured Activities

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My kids (Zoe, age 2, and Benjamin, age 7) love nothing better than unstructured time for free play. They invent games with each other and whoever else is around, play with their toys, read, help me with something in the house, or paint. They seem calmer and happier when they have that free time. I’m getting a lot of pressure, though, to enrol them in organized sports and lessons. My husband and I both work, and our lives are full to bursting already. But I don’t want to let my kids down. When is it too much?

Dona Matthews

Preparing a Toddler for a New Baby: Share, Show, Listen, and Reassure

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: I’m expecting another baby in about five months. When and what should my husband and I tell my 2 year old (Irfan) about this? How can we prepare him so it’s not a terrible shock when I bring the baby home?

Dona Matthews

Toddlers and Screens: Finding a Healthy Balance, and Enforcing the Rules

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My husband and I have strong feelings about toddlers and screens. We hadn’t allowed our 2-year-old, Patrick, to watch screens until recently. He was very sick for several days, and we turned on the television to distract him from his discomfort. He’s better now, and still loves to read, play outside, dance, sing, play with toys, and ask us endless questions, but now he’s demanding to see Dora the Explorer or Elmo whenever he’s a little bored or restless. What should we do?

Dona Matthews

When a Toddler Says ‘No!’ What to Do with the Terrible Twos

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My 1 1/2 year-old toddler, Teddy, has recently discovered the joys of ‘No’. This morning, for example, he yelled ‘No!’ when I told him we were going outside, ‘No!’ when I asked if he’d rather stay inside, ‘No!’ as I was putting my boots on, ‘No!’ when I opened the door, and ‘Out!’ when I was looking for my keys.

Dona Matthews

Call Private Body Parts by Their Names! Penis, Scrotum, Vagina, Vulva

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My 3-year-old calls his penis his ‘wee-wee’, but my sister says he should learn the correct term for it. I think ‘penis’ sounds too clinical, and I also don’t want him going around talking about that. Who’s right?

Dona Matthews

My Teenaged Son is Doing Too Much Solitary Reading: A Problem?

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: Is there any research on the effects on a teenager of long-term solitary reading? My 17-year-old son Darin spends all his spare time reading. I have a feeling that this cannot be all good, but I haven’t been able to find studies on the subject.

Dona Matthews

Challenges of Parenting Teenagers: Social Intelligence Is Worthwhile, Too

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My 12-year old daughter, Abby, is a promising pianist, but she wants to quit. She’s also a keen swimmer and an A student, but she’s spending too much of her time on social media and just hanging out with friends. I don’t want her to become a quitter, and am worried she’ll regret it later if she gives up on her musical talent. How can I discourage her from socializing so much, and make sure she keeps up with her musical training?

Dona Matthews

‘I’m a Nobody.’ How Can Parents Help with Peer Acceptance and Self-Esteem?

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My 13-year-old son, Zak, is smart and sensitive, but he’s not athletic and he’s a bit small for his age. He’s started describing himself as a ‘nobody,’ and says none of the other kids in his class will talk to him. He’s losing interest in school and other activities, although he’s still enjoying his music lessons.

Dona Matthews

Negative Peer Influences: My daughter’s best friend is a controlling ‘mean girl’

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My 7 year old, Janie, has a best friend, Alice. Alice is controlling. She’s mean to other kids and I feel like she’s ruining my sweet little girl. Janie has stopped playing with her other friends and does whatever Alice wants her to do. Alice’s parents think their little girl is precious, and any time another parent approaches them about her behavior they just laugh it off. I can see the path that Alice is headed down and I am desperate to get Janie away from her! I know that forbidding her to play with Alice isn’t the right move. What do I do?

Dona Matthews

My Daughter Is a Victim of Cyberbullying: What Can I Do?

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My 10-year-old daughter’s been the victim of cyberbullying. Someone created a Facebook page using a variation on her name, using a photo of a dog, and several others have chimed in, using false accounts, with mean and insulting comments. She’s been sent hateful e-mails directing her to this page, and is now refusing to go to school. My husband insists she go to school with her head held high, but when she goes, she comes home crying, saying everyone’s laughing at her.

Dona Matthews

My Son’s a Bully. What Can I Do?

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question:

My 8-year-old son has been labelled a bully by his teacher and some of the other parents. He’s a kind, sensitive child who used to be curious and enthusiastic, but is becoming increasingly unhappy. What can we do?

Dona Matthews

Where Does Happiness Come from, Mommy? An Easy 1-2-3 Plan for Becoming Happier

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question: My 6-year-old Zoe—who can be difficult—asked me, ‘Where does happiness come from?’ She said that Cassie, one of the girls in kindergarten, was always happy, and that her mom smiled a lot too. Any suggestions for helping Zoe (and me!) find a bit more happiness? Zara

Dona Matthews

Coping with Financial Adversity: Ten Suggestions to Help Kids Learn Resilience

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question:

My husband has lost his job, and our financial circumstance has become precarious. We’re worried that we’ll lose our house. What should we tell our kids? Rosa

Dona Matthews

Fix the Learning Mismatch to Solve Boredom, Distractibility, Social Problems

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question:

My 7-year-old third grader tells me he’s bored at the very good private school he attends. Noah’s teacher describes him as impulsive, acting out in class, and easily distracted, although a recent assessment (which identified him as ‘gifted’) didn’t turn up any attention problems. He has friends out of school, mostly kids who are older than him,

Dona Matthews

Gap Years: Career Decision-Making and Practical Tips for Parents

Dona Matthews, PhD, has been working with children, adolescents, families, and schools since 1990, and has written dozens of articles and several books about children and adolescents. She writes a twice-weekly advice column for Parents Space, 'Ask Dr Dona.' Please send your questions to her at the e-address below. She'll do her best to answer your question as quickly as possible.

Question:

Our 17-year-old daughter, Zoe, has many different talents and interests and doesn’t know which ones to take further and which ones to leave behind. She wants to take a gap year instead of going on to university next year. What should we do? Yvette and Paul

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