My terrible disease? NAVYitis (Never Again Volunteer Yourself). Volunteering is a necessity when you have children. If you want your child/children to have a full childhood experience someone has to volunteer. I am a doer. Do you know what that means? I do, if you don’t get it done in the time frame that I want it done, I do it. And when it comes to my children and volunteering…*clears my throat*….if someone else doesn’t volunteer, quick enough, I will volunteer. Need a Girl Scout leader, I’ll volunteer. Need a children’s choir director? I am your girl. Don’t have a room mother? If I have a child in your class, and once I even did it without that qualification, you can call on me. Need help moving, cleaning up you neighbor’s yard, cleaning up after a natural disaster? Guess what, I am there for you, just ask. I have a comfortable life and  have been extremely blessed to be able to raise my children as a SAHM (Stay at HOME MOM) and I am willing to volunteer to make my children and their friends have a memorable childhood.

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Positive attitudes in parenting can go a l-o-n-g way. First off is the obvious, if you are happy your children are more than likely happy too. We all feed off of each other, whether it is your children, your spouse or a stranger on the street. We take it all with us. Sometimes we recognize it for what it is, sometimes not. I, personally, find that there is a certain time of the month that because of me…. no one in my house is in a good mood- especially me. That is what has led me to write this particular article.

Thinking about how your mood will be is something that we can try to control. It, of course, doesn’t always work. But if you approach each day as a new day and take a moment in the morning for yourself, you may find that everything goes a bit smoother.

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Why is my mother coming out of mouth? I mean seriously! As a child I thought if I ever heard “Ain’t ain’t a word, cause it ain’t in the dictionary” one more time, I would commit some unthinkable act!  But as I go through my day-to-day parenting I hear my mother coming out of my mouth. And guess what, it is not so horrible!  And the evil cycle will start again….

 

So why is my mother coming out of my mouth? Because she was a good mother. Because what she taught me, and my siblings, in her every day parenting, was good and proper and respectable. And why is my mother coming out of my mouth? Because I want to raise my children to be good, respectable and proper human beings. And my mother wasn’t as much of a pain in the buttocks as I had thought. Go figure! I guess she really did know what she was doing. Does that mean that I am on the right track?!

Parenting is a learning process. And your first-born is the guinea pig. Come to think about it, all of your children – whether you have 1 or 10 – are guinea pigs. Why? Because, unless you have a duplicator hidden in a secret room in your basement, each of your children are different and call for different approaches to parenting. Why didn’t they tell us that when we decided to start a family? Oh yeah, we wouldn’t have listened and if we did it would have been with 1/2 an ear – and it wouldn’t be the better half! 

My mother comes out of my mouth with words of love, words of reprimand, words of correction and direction and I want to thank my mom for coming out of my mouth. I hope that one day, my children will find me coming out of their mouths as they raise their own families and if they do I will have proof positive that I, too, have raised my children with the same wonderful words of parenting that BOTH of my parents raised my siblings and I.

So if you too find your mother coming out of your mouth don’t freak out. Unless of course they are words of condemnation, debasing, or damage. Make sure that the words that come out are words of love, encouragement and growth. A wonderful article to read is:

http://www.positiveparentingsolutions.com/parenting/encouraging-words#

I joke with my children with things like:

I am gonna sell ya’ to da’ gypsies on the next train…

Stop picking on your sister or I’ll bop ya’ over da’ head

I’m gonna’ smoosh you like a bug…

True, these words, at face value, are not words of love and encouragement, but in our household they ARE words of love and encouragement. You too may have your own family’s phrases that bring smiles to your children’s faces. Or make them roll their eyes and say “if I hear my mom say that one more time I am going to do some unthinkable act!”  Hopefully you do, because that means one day they too will be saying, “Why is my mother coming out of my mouth?!”

A parent’s angst is having a teenager. I worry, about everything. Is she eating enough? And when she does eat is she running to the bathroom to throw it up like what she posted on her tumblr? Why can’t our lives be simple? Some people say that it is payback. Payback for what we did as a kid to our parents, but….I wouldn’t be experiencing this… May be my husband is getting payback and I have to make the payments. Hmmmmm, a thought. My angst is daily at the moment for our 16-year-old daughter.

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And on a brighter note….
Summer is almost over. We can see it on the horizon. And although it is bitter-sweet to realize that yet another summer has escaped through my fingers I have to smile at my children asking when it is that they can go get school supplies, because, that of course is THE best part of getting ready to go back to school.

 

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“That’s not fair!”

I think every parent of a teen has heard this exclamation. “That’s not fair!” seems to be a broken record in my household these days. “I’m sorry, Sue, but you lost computer privileges. You know you are not allowed on that site.” “That’s not fair!” I am so tired of hearing this response to all that goes wrong in my teen’s life. I WANT to come back with “well, life isn’t fair” but we all know that is just as successful as, “because I said so”.

 

 

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 Keeping your children reading over the summer can be something that we forget to do. Amongst vacations, swimming and camps when are they going to read?  Well you might want to be vigilant in finding time for your child to read.

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Summer is here! Summer, on a budget.  The kids are home and the planning will begin! But what if the money is tight and you can’t afford to send your sweet babes to every camp that they want or take the family vacation that you all would love? We have a money issue- you know, like the lack of it. I know that we are not the only family out there with this “issue” so I am looking at a summer on a budget.

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Parenting, for most of us, is a time for growth and unexplainable love and compassion. You can not understand what it is like to be a parent until you are a parent. I would have never believed that I would experience parenting, reversed. Taking on the role of parenting my parents.

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I have come to learn that letting go, allowing your child/children to grow up and expand their own horizons, is what parenting progresses to, *take a deep breath. Taking a deep breath and letting go is sometimes the only thing that can be done. My eldest, now 18, moved back to Kansas this summer. She is there without any family - but a lot of friends. And thankfully living in a small town with a lot of family friends looking out for her. I still need to take a deep breath. And I still need to step back and let go.

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Tweens “need” to grow up. Some quickly and some lingering in childhood. When is it time to say to your tween that it is time to grow up? “Grow up” is a harsh statement, but sometimes it is the appropriate thing to say. What is the magic age? The magic number? I wish I knew.

 

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Oh my gosh, homework! Even though most of us, as parents, have done our fair share of homework we still have to do more, well not really. We do have to monitor and insist on it getting done. If we are parents that are invested in our children’s education we sit with our children during their studies, or we are available to them.

 

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  Oh my gosh! I came across a totally eye opening short film about bullying.

Take a moment, just 19 minutes of your time to watch this well done, heart wrenching film. If the world were like this….

 

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“I am so stupid!” This is what I heard right before dropping my 15 year old off at school tonight.( She is headed out on a Chorus trip to NYC. They leave tonight and will arrive back Sunday.) “I am SO stupid!” she wailed as she stomped her feet on the dashboard of the car as we pulled out of the driveway. “I am so STUPID!” she keened again.

 

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When is it a teen’s responsiblily to step up and do chores? I remember doing chores without being asked when I was their age. But somewhere along the line I skipped a step in thier teaching. I am a doer.

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