At the root of an eating disorder, you will usually find intense feelings of powerlessness and unworthiness. The person suffering from such a disorder feels like he or she has very little power over their life and therefore attempts to establish a sense of control by binge eating, purging, and/or restricting. The person also feels flawed as a person. They never feel good enough. They believe that if they can just be skinny they will finally be okay.

There are several problems with this distorted way of thinking.

• When they binge, purge, or restrict, they are actually out of control, which is the opposite of what they are trying to accomplish. What they desperately want is to be in control.
• They think that they will finally be okay once they get to a certain weight, but this is not the case. There is no end. They never get to that perfect weight because the actual problem has nothing to do with weight. The problem has to do with their feelings of unworthiness. They feel flawed and will not be happy with themselves until they are perfect. We all know that perfection is impossible so they never feel good enough.

What can help with these feelings of powerlessness and unworthiness?

• Introduce them to Ed. Ed stands for eating disorder, and Ed is not their friend. Ed can’t be trusted. When Ed says, “Don’t eat! Go throw up! You are fat!”- Ed wants to harm and confuse the brain. It can help if people with eating disorders understand that when they are in the middle of their eating disorder, Ed is in control-not them. Teaching them to take the control away from Ed can be very helpful. As soon as they can view Ed as the controlling enemy, they can begin to see that they really have not been in control- Ed has.
• Help them to see that they are good enough just the way they are. They are worthy of love regardless of their weight or their accomplishments.

Although these tips may be helpful, eating disorders are complicated to treat. If you or someone who you love has an eating disorder, seek medical help immediately. A great resource is the book, Life Without Ed, by Jenni Schaefer.

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