I am a mother of 3 children and a military family and aspiring photographer.
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I always have this fear that I am the bad cop. I think this is because I am around my child more so I discipline them more than my husband. My husband is also away more since he is in the army. I fear my children are liking one parent more. They like my husband more because he is the fun guy.
Now I don’t blame him for being fun guy. He has to deploy overseas for a year at time and wants to spend quality time with his kids. That leaves me, mom as the primary caregiver. I am also trying to start a business from home. I know that I love my children and we do play games and I love them, but when I see that between the two of us, I am the one who lays out more discipline, it leaves me to wonder, as they get older, are they going to like me? It seems a silly concern I know.
I have often talked to my husband about it. He knows I worry about it and to him he thinks it is funny. “Why are you worried about our children liking one parent more? They love you!”
Of course I know this, but he is ALWAYS the fun guy. I am busy with SO much. So our oldest was in the bath and the other two were downstairs and there was a moment of peace and I mentioned this to him again. It was about a 4 minute quiet conversation.
Later that night as I was putting our two boys to bed my oldest says, “I know you think we like dad better, but we like you to mom.”
It was such a strange moment because I’m not sure if he heard us. We try not to discuss things like that in front of them, although we say that and it doesn’t always happen, but he must have heard us. I smiled and said, “Thanks honey, I know.”
I came upstairs with a grin and laughed a little and nudged my husband said jokingly, “They like me better today.”
As parents I think we often worry about our children’s future and how they will perceive us and hope we don’t “screw them up” that we often ignore the present, at least that’s what I do. I am really trying to stick in the moment more.